Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've blown a few things in my day
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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