In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
