his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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