I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
