I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
