Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
be right there i have to get my cape
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh god it's open bar.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
