I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
