Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize