I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize