So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
