If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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