dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
