I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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