Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
