Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well I just put wine in my tea
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize