Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
