love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
