At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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