you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Congratulations! We have a period
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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