is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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