You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
