he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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