just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
