Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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