Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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