Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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