its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
