I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
