Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
