Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
