my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Every concussion has its silver lining
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Randomize
