Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't notice because vodka
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
