You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
