you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
