Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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