is your mom at the bar?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
