I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
