captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
