So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
