My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is the high leading the old right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
