matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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