One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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