You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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