yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
