I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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