Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
