Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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