So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
