you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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