just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
