he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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