I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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