ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
