what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
