Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
two words: eviction party
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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