It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
