don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Barsexuality is the new black.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize