another moral hangover. fuck.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
