I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
